========================================================================= PROBABILITY (to the tune of "Sexuality" by Billy Bragg) (spoof song by Jeffrey Rosenthal) I've found equations, computed expectations And with great urgence, I've used monotone convergence I have been known to yield, to a smaller sigma-field To prove to you, what's conditionally true PROBABILITY, THE SCIENCE OF UNCERTAINTY PROBABILITY, YOUR LAWS EXPLAIN THE WORLD TO ME Well the financial, applications are substantial Your students rank, for a job at any bank 'Cuz if you want to make a buck, you have to study luck To be precise: compute the no-arbitrage price PROBABILITY, THE SCIENCE OF UNCERTAINTY PROBABILITY, YOUR LAWS EXPLAIN THE WORLD TO ME I work so hard most every day, and sometimes wonder why Then I see that probability is so great to apply A Markov chain, really makes me go insane It gives ample, ways to get a sample If your motion's Brownian, then you should let me in In the confusion, we'll start a new diffusion It's so fantastic, when a process is stochastic PROBABILITY, THE SCIENCE OF UNCERTAINTY PROBABILITY, YOUR LAWS EXPLAIN THE WORLD TO ME And sometimes when I'm stuck on math, and bursting with frustration I cast my paper to the ground, and run a simulation Here's my reaction, you're in my domain of attraction To get to you, I would line up in a queue When our energy is spent, we'll make a rare event 'Cuz the solution, is a compound distribution In our elation, we'll increase the population If you want to have a laugh, then check out a random graph And if we're able, we'll make all our laws be stable PROBABILITY, I hope your process is Levy PROBABILITY, for stochastic geometry PROBABILITY, a branching process makes a tree PROBABILITY, your laws explain the world to me =========================================================================